Sunday, January 17, 2010


My guitar is quickly becoming my most treasured possession. Playing it is like an addiction. I have to do it every single day. I refer to the calluses on my fingers as little badges of honor. To think, 3 months ago, I didn't have a clue as to how to play. But, today, I have a plethora of songs in my repertoire. I've done many things to be proud of in my life, but I think this tops the list.

It's been a great couple of days. Beautiful weather, amazing football games, working at Path, & quality time in my own bed. I have class in the morning and I could not be more excited! It seems as if it's been forever since I've concentrated on my education. From what I understand, we'll be working on forward graduation, which is a favourite of mine. I'm not perfect at it by any means, but it's fun to do and has a beautiful finish.

Although I'm a resident of the great state of Texas now, I was so happy to see the Cowboys go down today! Tony Romo is a douche and they ruined my Saints' perfect season. Needless to say, I'm in the minority here, but I enjoy being different. One more game and my team will be in the Super Bowl! It's going to be an intense week leading up to next week's play-off game!

I'm headed off to continue practicing. Can't wait for my next showcase! I'm sure there will be plenty of open-mic nights to keep me busy in the meantime.

"Wired and I'm tired/ Think I'll sleep in my clothes on the floor/ Maybe this mattress will turn on it's axis/ And find me in yours." -John Mayer

Saturday, January 16, 2010

Who Says?

I've decided to start a new blog. A sort of new beginning, you could say...

It's a new year with lots of new opportunities for good. Having recently taken a 6 month hiatus from "normal" life, my mindset has changed. I know many people say it, but I truly know what I means to cherish every moment, every person, every desire...

My internal struggles have lately turned from heartache & sadness to fighting my urges to live in the moment. I have a beautiful life, although I do believe there is more out there waiting for me. Somehow, I'd like to incorporate my passions with my responsibilities and leave as little room for regret as possible. Living in the moment sometimes mean doing/saying things you may regret later. Events can be life-altering. When should we as humans act on impulse and when should we fight it? Should we ever fight it? Will we want to re-do certain situations and encounters once we're too old(or dead) to do anything about them?

My dreams and goals for my life seem to be taking me in a different direction than I once envisioned. That's cool...things change. Nearly 2 years ago, I was settled into a life that I felt was perfect. Things have happened. Lessons have been learned. I want more out of life. I love Austin. I love my job. I love my family. But, I am, well, restless. I want to go, to see, to feel.

Internal conflict is made more difficult by your physical surroundings....sometimes. I traveled to New Orleans by myself last week and I can't remember the last time I felt so right. Something about the city and the opportunities there makes me feel at home. Even when walking(or dancing) around by myself, I didn't feel alone. I felt elated. Does that mean I should be there? I have no clue....because, as I drove down South Congress Avenue today(in Austin), I felt the same thing. This city is just as amazing, just lacking the dirty, swamp-like soul that New Orleans harbors.

I want uninhibited happiness. I want wild success. I want tons of laughter with friends...the kind of friends that can quote my favourite music right along with me and "get" my humor...and love me unconditionally. I meet people on a daily basis, but very few are let into my world. Why? Because everything and everyone in my life requires & deserves my passion & devotion. I have love, passion, and respect for every little aspect of my life right now. Every person. Every guitar chord. Every stroke of the makeup brush or snip of the shears. Every laugh.

The question that still resounds in my mind is that of what to do next. I'm not so sure that I'm the "settling down" type. I thought I was. Not so much anymore. Although, a psychic in New Orleans did tell me that I need to start following through completely. Maybe she knew that my tendency is to start planning what's next before I'm finished with whatever I'm currently doing.

One thing I do know for certain is that I want to spread as much happiness and love around this world as I possibly can. That can't happen by being physically, mentally, or spiritually stagnant. So, I have plans...big ones. They were dreams at one point. I'm making them real. Why not? Who says I can't have my cake and eat it, too??

Here's hoping for less analyzing and more living in my time to come.

"Every day should be a good day to die." -Dave J. Matthews